Prioritizing Your Health During Difficult Seasons

Hi, friends, and Happy New Year (even though January is basically over at this point)! It feels crazy to think that it is almost February already.  The start of my year looked way different than I had planned due to some really difficult things going on with my family (I’ll share more in a bit) and because of that, I’ve had a really hard time carrying on with the content that I had originally planned to put out for you guys in January. I will hopefully circle back around and share that a little bit later but with everything going on in my personal life, and where my mental headspace is, I knew that I wanted to share a different message with you today. Maybe you have had a rough start to the new year or maybe you aren’t feeling as motivated with the “new year, new goals, new focus” narrative right now. I am a girl who loves January 1 historically. I love setting goals, and I love thinking about the future and planning and strategizing, so this time of year is usually one of my favorites, but this year, I’ve had a really hard time, even thinking about a month from now, much less the entire year ahead of us. So to that end, I thought today I would share with you a few things that have been helping me to ground myself and to make sure that I’m still giving some priority to my health, even when I’m not necessarily in a good headspace or super focused on it. I hope you walk away from today’s episode with a few ideas to keep supporting your body’s ability to function well, and supporting your health, physically mentally emotionally, and spiritually.

So I want to give a little backstory of what has been going on in my life since Christmas and into the new year so far. We spent most of Christmas Day with my side of the family and had a really good day together. We went home around 7:30 pm and got the kids to bed and just had a normal night. Around 1 a.m., I got a call from a police officer friend of ours telling me that there had been a medical emergency at my parent’s house and that my Dad had had some kind of cardiac event and had to be resuscitated. He said that it looked really bad and then I needed to meet my mom at the hospital. So as you can imagine, I was in shock. I felt like I was frozen or trying to walk through mud or something. Thankfully my husband was able to help me, so I was able to get out the door pretty quickly with what I needed at the moment. When I met my mom and my sister at the hospital, they told me a little more details about what happened and how they found my dad unresponsive after he had gone to bed. He started making some really weird noises and seemed like he was having a seizure but they were not able to get him to wake up, so they did CPR on him until the paramedics got there. He was still unresponsive and being given oxygen as they left for the hospital. After waiting for what felt like an eternity, the emergency department doctors came in and explained how serious all of this was and that they weren’t sure that he was going to pull through. In addition to the heart attack, and subsequent cardiac arrest, he had also aspirated into his lungs and because of that had gone a long time without perfusing oxygen well. They again told us that he may not make it and if he did, due to the lack of oxygen for so long, he would probably never come out of a coma. So they were not hopeful at all. He spent the first two weeks of January in the ICU, and to the surprise of all the medical staff that saw him, was making small amounts of progress every day. While he was still in a coma, he was able to be weaned off of the ventilator and was able to breathe on his own. He was able to have moments of seeming like he could hear us and respond even though it was inconsistent. His levels all stabilized pretty quickly, and he was able to be taken off a lot of the medication that they had him on. So, in a lot of ways he improved, but he was still not awake. Finally, after 16 days, he did open his eyes and respond when asked a question and that was a huge deal and the best day ever. He has been able to move to a specialty hospital that helps with rehabilitation for medically complex patients or people with brain injury, and honestly, he is still making really good progress, especially compared to what all of his doctors expected. 

We are now 30 days out from when all of this first happened and my family’s world was turned upside down. So while we are hopeful that he is going to make a full recovery, and are in awe of the miraculous healing that has already taken place in him, to say it’s been a rough start to 2024 is putting it extremely mildly. These have been some of the hardest weeks of my entire life. 

I tell you all of this for a couple of reasons - First, I want you to know that miracles still happen, even when every single doctor you talk to has a grim prognosis, they don’t have the final say. So if you have been or ever are faced with a situation like this, regardless of the outcome, I want you to know that God is sovereign and He is the one in control. He has power far beyond what any of us do - including the most talented, gifted, and educated of us. Secondly, I’m telling you this so that you understand where I’m coming from when I tell you that while I love talking about health, and think it is so important to prioritize your health and take care of your body (especially now), I have truly understood, in a new way, what grief and emotional overwhelm does for your ability to care about things that you otherwise care about. This isn’t the first difficult thing that I’ve been through in my life. If you’ve listened to the podcast, or you know me in real life, you know that I’ve had battles with infertility and that I’ve faced very discouraging health conditions in my own life, but even through all of that, I feel like I was better able to be motivated to care about my health then than I have been through all of this.  Perhaps it was because improving my health was part of the solution to the goal that I was working toward during all of that, but this has felt very different. Even doing the simple things that I teach all of the time has been very difficult for me to actually do. So I just want you to know that I get it. I may not have truly been able to understand that before, but I understand it now.  

This is not going to be the most organized episode I’ve ever put out, but I do want to share a little bit of the encouragement with you that has been shared with me, spoken over me, and prayed over me the past few weeks as well as a few practical tips that have helped me to stay grounded, and not completely abandon taking care of myself. 

I  think this is important to share this because no matter what you’re going through, you want to be able to come out on the other side of it as best as you can. Especially when something happens to a loved one, it can be tempting to throw all of yourself into helping them and supporting them. While that is noble, you have to remember that if you aren’t taking care of yourself, you will not be able to care for them well. It may feel selfish at the moment when you need to pull back a bit or when you need to take some time to recharge or refuel yourself, but it will be worth it for both you and the person that you are taking care of. So whether that’s with your kids or in a tragic situation like this, it’s a good reminder that we always need to have some priority on taking care of our bodies and taking care of our mental and emotional health so that we can continue to show up and love our people well.

I also want to encourage you (and remind myself) that this is just a season. What is happening now is not what will be happening six months from now or a year from now. While the circumstances that you’re in may not change, you will change. You will have a different mindset or a different perspective than you have now. And you’ll have information that you don’t have now. If nothing else, you’ll have grace for the next season that you don’t have now because you’re not there yet. While it can be helpful to give yourself a future thing to think about and let yourself imagine when whatever you may be going through is over, it’s also really helpful to keep in mind that what you’re going through right now is just a season and all seasons come to an end. The thing that does not come to an end, praise the Lord, is His grace and mercy for whatever is happening now and what will come. Also, I want to remind you (and myself) that, even when it looks like the Lord is not paying attention or He’s not acting or He doesn’t care, He’s working. It might look different than what you want. It might not be in the timing that are asking for, but He never stops working for the good of those who love Him and follow Him. That can be a really hard reminder when things feel anything but good and things feel truly impossible. Those first couple of days, watching my Dad - a very strong, very independent, and stubborn man - be fully intubated and completely unconscious, it looked impossible. There were moments when my faith was small, but there was just something in me that wouldn’t let go of the hope that he would wake up. I would keep reminding myself of other “impossible” situations that I had been through in the past or seemingly impossible situations that had happened in friends’ lives when God had made a way. So, I want to encourage you to keep reminding yourself of God’s faithfulness and bring all your feelings -  the doubt,  the worry, the fear, maybe the sadness and anger -  whatever you’re feeling to Him because He’s the only one that can do anything about it and He already knows how you feel anyway. Give yourself a lot of grace to feel your feelings, but make sure that you direct them toward the One who always cares and can do something about it. 

Choose Three Things

I also want to share a few practical things that have been helping me to feel grounded and have moments of feeling normal, even when everything feels upside down. One of my best friends encouraged me early on to choose three things that would help me feel like myself. Even that felt like a lot in the beginning, and I wasn’t perfect at doing it every day, but I noticed a huge difference when I did. So for me, I chose three things that took pretty minimal effort and were things that I could feel good about checking off the list, knowing that they were helping me and supporting my body.  One thing that I committed to was my morning matcha latte. I needed something to break up the night and the morning and keeping that part of my normal morning routine was perfect for what I needed. Especially for those first 3 to 4 days, I didn’t eat very much. I didn’t have an appetite and my adrenaline was running so high that I couldn’t digest hardly anything even when I could eat, so my matcha latte was a great staple for me because I knew that it was full of antioxidants that would help my body deal with the stress that it was under, while also giving me a little bit of stable energy without messing with my hormones and my already stressed out adrenals.  If you’ve watched my reel on Instagram about how I make my matcha latte, then you know that I also put vanilla bone broth protein powder and collagen protein in it, as well as some healthy fats to make it more blood sugar friendly. So it was great for me to use as an anchor in my days. 

The other drink that I love that is even easier to incorporate into my day is the Magic Mind Productivity drink that I told you about in the last episode. I love these because they are a shot size - like 2 to 3 ounces - and they are full of awesome nutrients, including matcha green tea (so all of the antioxidants and sustainable energy) as well as other brain-nourishing ingredients, like Lion’s Mane mushrooms, Cordiceps and Bacopa. They also have adaptogens in them, like Ashwagandha and Rhodiola, which help your body deal with stress (those are things that I have seriously needed in the past few weeks). I also love that they contain echinacea and turmeric for immune health and inflammation support, especially right now as I spend many, many days walking in and out of the hospital. I love having easy options that I can keep with me that help support my health.  As I said they are super small, so they’re very convenient to keep in your bag for on-the-go, or to drink real quickly before you leave the house in the mornings. They are a great option and have been super helpful to me. So just as a side note, if you haven’t checked those out yet, I highly suggest that you do that. They are running a great deal for January where if you sign up for a 3-month subscription you get the first month for free, plus you’ll save 20% with my code (alainaD20). If that sounds like something that could help you as well, go check out that deal before the month here. 

In addition to my drink staples, a couple of the other things that I tried to do daily were to take my vitamins at some point during the day because, as I said, I didn’t have a good appetite and what I could eat wasn’t the most nutrient-dense option.  I was eating a lot of food from the cafeteria at the hospital or a ton of takeout.  I think I went about eight straight days without cooking anything - which might be a record for me. So I felt so much better knowing that I was at least getting a good quality source of nutrients into my body even though I wasn’t eating well (you can find my favorite multivitamin here using code HEALTHFORWARD for 20% off or see a list of my favorite general supplements here with a free account). 

The other thing that I tried to do was take a detox bath at night before I would go to bed. I didn’t do it every night because I was too tired and would just fall into bed some nights, but this would give my brain a chance to decompress before I would go to sleep, and help my body to relax before going to sleep.  Also, because I was taking a detox bath with epsom salts and bentonite clay, I was supporting my body’s detox pathways as well. That gave me a little more peace of mind, knowing that I was doing something to support my body.

Things that you choose to do may look different than what I chose and what was helpful for me, but the point here is that you think of two or three things that you can do that will help you feel like yourself. Also, I would encourage you to choose things that are so simple that they can almost be automated or take very little brain power. It sounds so simple but they give back to you a small bit of normalcy and give you a little peace of mind knowing that even though this is a crazy season for you, you are still going to come out on the other side of this season better off than you would if you had not done anything to support your health at all.

I would also encourage you to be sure that you are not only doing something to care for your health physically but also to care for your health emotionally and spiritually. Especially during a really challenging time, this can be an easy one to throw out the window and not make time for. I know people handle things differently but for me when my mind is overwhelmed, lacking motivation, and feeling tired, I have a really hard time sitting down and reading Scripture. So for me, it was really helpful to either listen to the Bible through audio or to turn on worship music. I created a playlist of songs that were encouraging for me, and that helped me to keep my mind centered on what I knew to be true about God’s faithfulness and his power and goodness. I would listen to that on the way to the hospital and on the way home from the hospital or if I was having a particularly rough day, I would just keep it on all day. I played it in the hospital room for my dad to hear while he was in a coma and I would notice how the feeling in the room would just completely change. I also found it helpful to just have little phrases that I could pray when I didn’t feel like I could pray a lot or was just so tired that I couldn’t organize my thoughts well. I encourage you to think about how you can nurture your spiritual health during a hard season. Make yourself a playlist or turn on the Bible app audio (extra points if you choose a voice that makes you smile or giggle a little bit while it’s reading to you) and maybe think of a few prayer phrases that you can say in the moment when you need to talk to the Lord but you don’t feel like you have the mental and emotional capacity for it. 

Another thing I would encourage you to do is to let people help you. This is one of the hardest things for me. My husband tells me that I go straight into crisis management mode when something difficult is going on, and I can detach myself from my emotions. This can be helpful sometimes but also in the long run is not helpful for my mental health or any aspect of my health, so I made sure that I kept my appointment with my counselor even when I didn’t feel that I had the time for it. I would highly encourage you to have a counselor that you can talk to in normal life and especially during challenging times. Having someone who has no connections to anything in your life whom you can verbally process things with is so helpful. Also, let the people in your life help you. We had so many people send us money for food and gas,  and people praying for us and sharing that their friends and their churches were praying for us.  People offered to watch my kids when I needed to be at the hospital.  There were just so many people that instantly were there for us and wanted to help. My natural inclination is to turn everyone away and handle everything on my own because I don’t like to feel like a bother or that I’m putting someone out, but my closest friends just kept encouraging me to let my guard down and let people help me. It truly did make a difference. It may seem like it’s not a big deal but when you’re in a hard season, being able to have any stressful things, like money or childcare, taken off of your plate is a huge relief. So let me encourage you, even if it is difficult for you - accept help and let your guard down because it’s good for you,  it’s good for those wanting to help you, and it will be good for your relationship long-term.

So those are just a couple of the things that have been helpful for me to feel a little more grounded and that I know are moving my health forward. I think all of us go through hard seasons, and it might look different for everyone. It might not be as traumatic and tragic as what my family has been going through (I hope that it’s not), but you will go through a season that is difficult for you to focus on your health or to set health goals. I hope that you can use a few of these practical tips and encouragement that I shared here in the episode to keep you anchored and centered during that time. It’s okay if not every January is a time to take charge and move forward with new goals. We do the best we can with what we have, and the circumstances that we are given, and we remind ourselves that all seasons are temporary.